MAUT KAHO YA ZINDAGI

 Than gayi, maut se meri than gayi, 

jeene ka mera koi irada na tha, rasta roke khadi ho gayi, 

aisa laga zindagi se badi ho gayi,

maut zindagi se badi kaise ho sakti hai. 

maut ki umra hi kya hai?

Do pal bhi nahin, 

zindagi silsila aaj kal ki nahin,

mai jee bhar jiya, 

mai man se marun, 

laut kar phir aaunga mai, 

koonch se kyun darun?

Atal ji ki ye kavita maine pehli baar tab suni thi jab mai mehez 10 saal ki thi. Maut ki umra ka andaza laga rahi thi, pehle is kavita se mai ittefaq rakhti thi par ab malum hota hai ki meri umra badhne ke sath sath mere khyalat bhi badal gaye hain. Ab mai sochti hun ki shayad maut ko mazil manna meri bhul thi, maut ke umra ka andaza lagana meri bhul thi, maut kisi manzil ka nahin  balki safar ka naam hai jo ki thik usi waqt shuru ho jata hai jis waqt zindagi ka safar. Jeena marna haath pakad kar chalte hain jab tak hamari saansein chalti hain, fir saansein tham jati hain, safar khatm ho jata hai, manzil aa jati hai. Zindagi aur maut ek hi sath apna safar shuru karte hain aur fir dam tod dete hain. Zindagi aur maut ek hi sikke ke do pehlu hain. 

Aakhir fir farq kya hua in donon ke beech? Farq shayad sirf itna sa hai ki zindagi humein maut ke baad bhi jeene ka mauka deti hai, dusron ke dilon mein, khayalon mein, baaton mein. Toh fir kisi ke chale jane ka gam kaisa, hum jab chaahein tab tak apne andar kisiko bhi zinda rakh sakte hain. 

Jis saal meri is kavita se mulakat huyi thi, wo wahi saal tha jab mere nanaji hmein chodh kar chale gaye the.Wo pehli baar tha jab maine maut ko itne kareeb se dekha tha par wo kehte haina 'every ending is a new beginning'. Maybe the death of my grandparent made him more alive for me, inside me, he was in a vegetative state for three years before his death and I was ignorant enough to take it all for granted. Only after he stopped breathing, his body disappeared in front of my eyes, I finally could make sense of the fact that he's gone but I couldn't accept it for quite a long time, I was furious on him that he did not take care of his health well, he was a stubborn man I must say. But I could not stay into that emotion for too long, I had to accept his physical disappearance from the world which eventually lead me to believing differently on death so that I don't miss him. Us humans are very clever to change thought processes in order for it to benefit us and that's what makes us human, we can choose what to believe in and what to reject according to our own convenience which happens to be very different for each of us. As it is said, to each their own, we can write our story, form our own narrative, mould our brains exactly as we want to. I miss him but I know that he is now more present for me than he ever was so I don't mourn at it now which has made me reach a better mental state. Maut ke aane se zindagi khatm thodi ho jaati hai. 

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